Striving is Keeping Us Stuck

Kids are sitting endless exams here in the UK right now. Going home with report cards telling them and their parents they’ve either met the correct standard (average), they’re above it (wahoo!), or below it (oh dear).

Thirteen-year-olds being told they’re not good enough because they don’t meet some archaic academic yard stick. 

We had it, too. Our schooling system is set up to force us to strive for betterment continuously; do more, try harder, get the work done or else. There’s no wonder we’re all a bit exhausted — the foundation of betterment is a deep, resonant I’m not enough unless I do more.

No wonder we’re all perfectionists, overachievers, and have mild OCD. But this continuous striving is keeping us stuck. Betterment, improvement, optimising — the friction of not being enough that comes as a side order of this constant effort is ironically killing the magic in the process. 

What if we put an end to striving? No more square-peg-round-hole because society tells us that’s the only way. No more improving or tweaking or performing. With a deep understanding that life is a constant round of improvements and growth without our inane interventions.

If we accept ourselves as enough, this moment as enough, this project as enough… and changed the question from ‘how well am I doing’ to ‘how much fun am I having’, I think we’ll start to see real growth happen. 

Although the growth, of course, is only a wonderful side-effect to our enjoyment — the philosophical mindset that underpins it all: should we focus our unbelievably rare opportunity at life on endless growth? Or should we recalibrate towards happiness? 

Perhaps Bertrand Russell's words are best to help us here: "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

---

Get my writing delivered straight to your inbox: