You Don't Need a Real Job. You Need a Role Model.

When I was 23 I worked offshore as a hydrographic surveyor. It was a university-guaranteed gig and, since I had no other idea what I should do with my time, earning a lot seemed a great idea.

It was a terrible idea.

On one job, we were at anchor in the North Sea and the ship’s fresh water tanks sprung a leak. We had to drink the fruitiest of teas to disguise the salt.

On another, I got mildly angry with an older surveyor and a group of 40-year-old blokes asked if I was on my period.

I struggled with the blatant misogyny, with being constantly on-call for nine months straight, with the shitty food, and practicing yoga in a 7-metre swell is no joke. That’s before I admit I was terrible at my job and really didn’t want to spend my time laying pipeline for Shell and BP. 

Moaning about it to the grown-ups of my family, I was told to suck it up and get on with it. It’s a good job, that’s what matters. 

But I had other ideas.

It seems it’s much easier to make your own rules for life when you see others making theirs.

Like my big bro, Tom. He’s made a living painting Warhammer models, shipping giant monsters all over the world. 

Or my step-sister, Joy. She creates paper sculptures for Tiffany’s, Mappin and Webb, and Fortnum & Mason.

Often despite people telling them to ‘get a real job’. 

I realised, around 5:48am yesterday, in a half-awake dream, how lucky I am to have those two showing me the way; I can do anything.

I quit my offshore job just shy of a year into the contract, and I worked for a marketing firm for a while. Perhaps then — where plants and souls were slowly dying — is where I discovered how fundamentally unemployable I am.

I abandoned the pursuit of 'real jobs' around 2015 when I started an employee-engagement consultancy, helping office employees feel happier at work.

I became a yoga teacher in 2016 with the mission to teach more joyful movement classes.

I learned nervous system regulation in 2022 and began coaching regulation for happiness.

And now I write about the question that's been there all along: life is short — how do we make it joyful?

If everyone around us does things the 'normal' way — like my peers when I was 23, also taking offshore jobs — this is what we'll expect of ourselves.

But if we see even a glimpse of someone else making magic in a different way, like Tom and Joy, it's suddenly the permission we need.

The world needs our quirks, and weirdo-passions, and eccentricities way more than it needs us to earn more money, and get a 'real job'.

And if you need examples of folk showing you the way, you can borrow mine anytime.

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