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How To Be Present When Life is a Lot

  • Writer: Chloe Markham
    Chloe Markham
  • May 9
  • 2 min read

Learning how to be present sounds simple, and it's one of the most studied, most recommended practices in human history. It's also properly hard when life is chaos. This is the practical version.



Philosophers and poets and writers have been banging on about this for centuries:


Be present. That’s how we live a better life.


And it sounds easy. It’s definitely cheap. And you can do it mid-Starbucks run. Alrighty then, let’s go.


Except it’s fucking hard work.


Especially when you’ve got debt, and kids, and a job, and relatives to care for, and a fridge that hasn’t been cleaned since the last lockdown.


Oh, and politicians starting needless wars and climate change that will likely end in a fiery collapse of our entire species.


Be present, you say? Hilarious. No wonder we spend so much time on Instagram. 


A small carved figure sits on mossy ground, bathed in warm sunlight with a blurred, earthy background, creating a serene atmosphere.


2500 years ago when Siddhartha, the OG Buddha, starting touting his ‘living in the moment’ philosophy, we didn’t have smart phones or online shopping or any instructions to dress smart-casual. So a lot of this ancient philosophy can feel a bit jarring.


So how do we make presence practical for modernity?


We practice, like anything else. Want bigger biceps? Practice bicep curls every day. Want to bake nice bread? Practice baking every day. Want to sensibly articulate somewhat overwhelming philosophy into bitesize reads? Hello!


The biggest way we can practice presence every day is this:


Whether this moment is joyful, or uncomfortable, or something else entirely, bring attention to you in it. 


What can you feel? 

What can you see?

What can you taste? What can you smell? What can you hear?


How does discomfort / pleasure / pain / grief / annoyance / eye-rolling at your mum for asking how to copy-paste for the 267th time actually feel? 


Take up your space in this moment. Notice it all. Allow it to be what it is. 


If we can stop clinging to the experiences that bring us joy, and stop pushing away the experiences that feel uncomfortable, we’re truly honouring this short and fleeting life of ours. 


Wavy orange line on a white background, resembling a decorative border or line art. The line curves gently, creating a flowing pattern.

Here's what practicing presence is actually doing:


It's paradoxically the way we move through pain, grief, and heartache. It feels like we're stuck, in those moments, so we push them away in fear they’ll eat us alive. But they won’t. We just need to allow them to be here, just the same as joy.


This kind of presence practice is also how we stop being so time-poor. Because if you’re present on the school-run, you can’t be rushing it. Time suddenly opens up.


This is the key to happiness and ease, my friend. Honouring life by being present for it. 



Off to practice my baking,


Chloe

🧡



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